CSE Tournament

Here's my first post in this year... Hell, it took a lot time to come. But rest assured it will be as good as one would want a first to be. So without further ado presenting to you my reply to participation in the cricket tournament to be held (not sure whether it will be) by the prestigious CSE department of IIT Madras...

Hi,

With everyone intent on playing i think i will apply for the position of the coach of the team that takes to field. I dont promise the stars but will try to help out people by correcting their techniques, stance, follow through and whatever else you guys call it. No comparisons to be made between this and a film by name Chak de India because lets accept the fact that though the coach would be as good as the one in that (if not better) I would not have the same awesome and
pretty team...

Positives to take (if i am selected that is)
When you come to my fees... well let me tell you its not even one millionth of what SRK or Greg Chappell or any guy who coaches (rather is named as a coach of) an Indian team gets... a treat in an average restaurant would do. Another point would be that I wouldnt ask you for your thumbs and all, I'm not a freak who gets pleasure from others discomfort.

Resume:
After my glittering career which lasted 13 long years (standard 1 to standard 12) of gully cricket, I have decided to devote my energies into making life more miserable for other people. Didn't want to go into acting as Irrfan rightly put it - "hum actors ko kaam nahi dekar woh log naakh se gaane waalo or pahaad jaise logo ko chance dete hai". No to umpiring as it is a thankless, tiring job and very difficult (dont even want to think of umpiring an India-Australia clash). Commentating was a lucrative offer but to tell you the truth, with Harsha Bhogle, Tony Greig, Boycott, Ravi Shastri (all positive sense) and Navjot Sidhu (negative sense) I didn't have many opportunities. So here I am - coaching. This will be my first time and I would like to thank the (...Academy?) CS dept which has such tournaments that let people like me have a flavour of coaching. But to put things in perspective, and I wouldn't want to name 'which' teams, I was approached by 'atleast' 3 IPL teams for my services. You can consider it a matter of pride that being the team player that I am, I would rather coach you than make easy bucks out there.

Hope this fits the bill (though a treat wouldn't be filling mine, I am ready to compromise for the best interests of the team)

Thanking you for your time,
Suket.